462 reasons to not go to church

1)  Norm gets more welcomes entering the bar then we do when we go to church
2)  The church is full of hypocrites
3)  The church has aided in my suffering of the dis's - disappointed, disillusioned, disheartened, disenchanted.
4)  No one cares
5)  It is too hard to break into all the cliques - again goes back to #1
6)  The messages are boring
7)  The singing is dated
8)  I have been hurt by... and I cannot forgive what they have done to me
9)  Why get dressed up when I can just watch it a great speaker on TV at the couch church
10) I worked all weekend and I need one day to sleep in
462)  The church is there for the people that need it and I don't.  I am fine on my own!

I am not sure if you would adopt to any of the reasons listed above or if you are in between 10 and 462.  There are many people that have not gone through the struggles each Sunday of whether to get up and go to church or whether to stay home.  Their reasons might be as simple as "this is what we do" or "this is what my parents did so this is what we do as a family."  You may be one of those parents that are forcing your teenage children to get out of bed and go to church each Sunday.

I grew up in the church.  I remember going from a very young age where we would dress up in our Sunday best, put our hair up in curlers the night before and look picture perfect entering the church as a family.  The children remained sitting in the services with their parents trying to not fall asleep and listen as the pastor spoke.  We attended church on Sunday morning and evening and mid week for bible lessons.  I never resented it but just did it because this is what you did.  Church has changed a lot since I was a kid.  We can go to church in jeans, we don't sing out of a hymn book and we are not scared into becoming Christians by watching some movie about being left behind.  Church has become a more comfortable, inviting place to come to yet so many of us don't want to be there. 

I have friends and family that have made the choice to not attend church - I made the same decision myself over the last couple of years.  Is it the right decision?  I guess you have to decide for yourself.  I have come to terms with a few things though.  The people and the church are always going to disappoint!  There is always going to be someone or something I see within the church that is going to leave me with a "yucky feeling."  We do not live our faith 24/7.  We are not the same people that walk down the streets, work in businesses, telling jokes, watching movies that walk in the door on Sunday morning.  So, as number two says "we are hypocrites."  Not a big revelation at all (a little sarcasm).  We should not be putting on a different mask for the different occasions in our life.  It is kind of like those undies that you can get for different days of the week.  Which mask am I going to wear today?  Coming on a little bit too strong?  Sometimes it is necessary to push a little bit and see if people are listening.  I am not stepping up on the soap box to point fingers.  It is hard to live what you believe in anything 24 hours a day.  You may be on a "take care of myself plan" - you are eating well, exercising daily, drinking a gallon of water.  Good for you!  But every once and a while you blow it just a little.  Mine was the other day when I just thought I needed to have a Dr. Pepper.  I had not had one all summer.  The first sip was great and after that I did not enjoy it at all.   If we profess to be Jesus-followers, believers, Christians it is a daily thing not a "Sunday" thing.

We live in a 'small world' and we are noticed for the way that we behave in our jobs during the week and how we interact with others.  We are noticed when we are out on the sports field or the hockey arena.  If we are seen in church; we are watched outside of the doors.  It is like the paparazzi.  They are always watching and waiting to catch us in the place or in that predicament that will be splashed all over the front page of the tabloid.  Even if we are of the mind that we do not go to church but we still worship God from our home we are being watched.  Maybe you don't care.  Maybe you feel the same way as popeye when he said "I am what I yam."  Totally your choice.  But, if we do profess to be Christians and others know then maybe we need to do a little inventory, a little self analysis.  How do I want to be perceived?  How do I want people to see me?  Do I want to help people to see what Jesus can offer them or do I want to hinder it?

There are a lot of reasons to not go to church.  I have used many of them.  I have been disappointed with people in the church and the "Sunday christians."  I have been let down.  I have been hurt.  But, in the end we have to make a decision of whether or not that is going to break us or change us.  Is it going to be something I am going to learn from or is it something that is going to stay with me and fester within so that I become bitter with the church as a whole because of one person's mistakes.  There is a verse in the Bible that I love and would like to share with you.  Hebrews 10 - "Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back is drawing near."

Yes, there are at least 462 reasons to not go to church but I can think of a few reasons that I/we should go.  We need to be there to grow in our faith, learning from others, studying God's word together, helping one another in our spiritual journey.  We need to be there for ourselves and for others but I believe that God wants me to be there.  To come to a place to worship Him in a group with others that need Him just as much as I do.

The three things I hate in life...

So, I work in a industry that pushes customer service which is a great thing.  You know the old saying "the customer is always right"?  Well, if you don't you should.  I know that we live in a world where we are pretty darn proud and have a hard time admitting when we are wrong or letting someone else believe we are wrong even though we may not be (I know a bit of a run-on sentence).  We might see this sort of service to others as a servant type position or something beneath us but don't you like to be treated well by the people that serve you?

Whether you are filling your car up with gas, buying something at the local store, enjoying lunch at a restaurant or trying on clothes at a boutique you want to be served appropriately.  An acknowledgement - hi! how are you?, a smile, look into your eyes, focus on helping me and not chatting with a friend while you serve me, end off with a have a great day or enjoy the movie and say it with meaning not scripted. 

Why am I on a rant you ask????  I was served at a store in our community by a young little chickie who felt it was okay to smack her gum and blow bubbles while she served me.  Another store I was served in they did not break their conversation between the two salespeople while they served me.  Small little things you say but enough to question whether I will go back to them.  I have worked in a few places over the years where I have handled complaints and the small things are what you hear about - and they tick people off.

So, when I walk out of a store with my daughter I will ask her what did you think about the service in there?  She has really become aware of the importance of doing a good job and treating others the way you want to be treated.  I would prefer to leave a place and say wasn't that great service instead of ... I am not going back in there again. 

So, if you work in an industry where you get tips work hard to earn them and if you don't word hard anyways  because the person you are serving is helping you keep your job.  I think we would rather see commendations on our appraisals instead of complaints.

Might be coming on a little strong but the three things I hate in life are:  laziness, whining and bad customer service. 

A Single Mother's Life...

So, (I love to start a sentence with that simple little word - it is not meant to be sarcastic but so as in I have something to tell you) I have been working on my story for a couple of years now.  I have rewritten parts, edited, hated it and loved it at the same time.  I have thought of publishing it and wondered if I would really want anyone to read it or is it just supposed to have been my therapy.  I am not big into journalling but writing and sharing my thoughts and what I believe and have heard from God is more my thing.  I did journal here and there but when I would go read it and look back it was so depressing I tore out the pages and burnt them.  This story I have not torn apart nor have I burnt it. 

I really believe it is a story that God has wanted me to write and possibly share with others.  I am not sure about the sharing part yet because whenever you write your own story you start to feel really vulnerable.  The "famous ones" out there are all writing their biographies.  They are taking all of the skeletons out of the closet - sex, drugs and rock n' roll and it becomes a big tell all.  Of course, people are purchasing them because isn't it great to hear your idols dark secrets.  I am no idol and my dark secrets are not quite so sinister.  But, God has given me a story to tell and who knows maybe one day it will be out there in print with one of the great names I have made up for myself.  I mean Kim Hildebrand is a very boring name.  I have really liked the name Scarlett Leigh but now I have told you so I will have to go with one of the other drama queen type names that I have chosen.

So, if you are ever shopping at Chapters one day and you see this book that might have a cover in hot pink and black and be called ... being a Single Mom by this author who has a very cool name that might be me!

Contemplating life...

Do you ever wake up one day and wonder who you are?  For so long you are defined by titles... my parent's daughter, so and so's sister, his girlfriend, his wife, their mom... but who am I?  I have liked all of my titles and my most favorite has to be my kid's mom but as they are growing up and need me less I find that I wonder who I am?  What do I want to do?  Where do I want to go in life?  Am I where God wants me to be? 

So, we all have this purpose in life.  Our purpose at times may seem insignificant to us.  We are not known by the world or even by Canadians or Manitobans.  We may just be known in our community.  We feel that we have not accomplished some great feat nor will we ever be voted for a Nobel Peace Prize.  We have not been on tv nor has a story been written about us in the paper.  The biography that would be written about us  would only have a few pages because our history would not be as exciting as others. 

But what if up until now you have followed the path your life has taken and it has been the right one?  It may not have been a huge party and fireworks kind of path but it was your path.  In the Christian world we call this our journey.  It may be somewhat insignificant to the rest of the world.  It may seem boring and mundane at times.  It may seem to have had too much heartache and grief.  It may seem that your journey hit a few roadblocks along the way and you have been stuck a couple of times.  But, it is your journey.  You cannot go back and do it again so what has happened is done and dwelling in the past (I have found) accomplishes nothing other than we can learn from it.  (sorry that was a run-on sentence but I had so much to say).

I have berated myself for not being further along in life.  I should know this stuff by now. I should not still be struggling with self esteem issues at my age.  I should have run a marathon by now.  And for the last decade or so I feel my greatest achievement has been raising my kids.  But, you know what I have loved being a mommy.  I can't imagine if I did not have my kids in my life.  They have been my world.  A little bit of a warped world at times but it is my world.  I have been there for them.  I have listened to them practice in a variety of bands,  watched them at sporting events and listened to them perform at concerts.  I have talked to them late at night about problems, taken care of them when they were sick. worried about them, cooked for them, laughed with them, gone on road trips with them...  So, maybe I have been right where I was supposed to be - with my kids. 

On our road trips to Colorado we have gotten lost a couple of times.  I am so bad with directions.  I would never do well on Amazing Race.  Sometimes, in life we might feel like we get lost for a while but you know what eventually we did make it to Colorado.  It was a huge celebration when we got there!  We made it!  Maybe you are like me and you feel that you may have lost who you were along the way.  I think I discovered that I was not the centre of attention and it was okay to just be Lucas' mom, Nolan's mom and Marissa's mom.  I will always be there Mom.  They have needed me along the way and I have needed them.  There is a season in your mothering where you are needed more than you can handle and you are looking for a way out.  That's okay.  But, there comes a day where our children will not be as demanding on our time and maybe you will be like me contemplating life...

Moving out

       I remember two years ago when my oldest son moved out.  I went through so much questioning on whether I had taught him everything that he needed to know in life.  In one month my middle child (son) will also be leaving home and my oldest son will be moving back for the summer.  I am going through a "empty nest revolving door syndrome." 
       ... when they are babies there are important things that we need to teach them for their own safety.  Don't touch a hot stove, always hold your mom's hand when you cross the street, don't put peas up your nose.  As they get older the teaching changes and we start to teach them life lessons - how to be a good friend, being respectful, making good choices.  And then it comes to the day when you really have to cut the apron strings and let them go.  This is what we have been training them for - life on their own, life outside your watchful eye and sheltering arms. 
      The questions begin to go through your mind.  Have I taught them everything that they need to know out there in the dark and dangerous world?  Have I equipped them with the knowledge they will need to make the right choices?  Will they know how to make a healthy, decent meal?  The worries and thoughts go through my head until finally I realize I have done the best that I can do.  I have loved them unconditionally and tried to teach them what is right and what is wrong.  I have to cut the apron strings and push them out of the nest.
      So, each night and during the day I send up a prayer for their protection.  And I hope that when they reach out their hand to touch the hot stove they will hear my voice in their head saying HOT.  And I hope that even though they may not hear me say I love you every day they will hear it in their hearts.