Sometimes I look for different ideas of what I want to write about. It will sometimes be a short story that I end up typing on my computer or it might be a couple of chapters or sometimes it is just a blog. I get ideas from experiences, family and friends. Today my ideas came from God. He planted them and I thought instead of letting them fall in hard ground and not let them take root which I will sometimes do I thought that I would give them roots and let this thought grow.
I don't know about you but I go through periods in my life where I don't feel the need for God. He doesn't leave me but He steps aside and lets me flounder. I say these childish prayers before bed and figure that will be enough. I'll throw out little prayers here and there without much thought. I won't read my bible but instead read a Christian novel which I think will be enough because at least I am not reading some crappy harlequin romance. Sorry, to those that like them but honestly? I become a little more critical, less tolerant of others, colder, less loving and caring dissatisfied with life, obsessed with small things, etc. Just to name a few. That is my life without God.
I know that there are many in this world that do not have a life with God. They have chosen a permanent life without God and they are happy. They are great people, making a difference in the world, can fully function without having to go to God to help them along the way. They may believe in a type of God or believe in a higher being but they do not need their God to get through life. How do they do it? I really contemplated this question today. How is it possible to live a fulfilling life without God and how is is possible to live a fulfilling life with God? Do you lie in bed at night wondering if you are making a difference in this world or if you are following God's direction to make a difference in this world?
I go through many ups and downs. Sometimes they are self inflicted and other times they are hormone inflicted. Darn hormones! I already told you in paragraph two about those moods and how I become quite a boot. I am not one that can have a smooth sailing life without having to work on it. I need to work on it. I need to force myself to see the good in things some days instead of going the opposite way. Not always fun but when I let God take over He shows me the good that I miss when I do it on my own. My days and even weeks that I push God aside are selfish weeks. They are self centred, feeling sorry for myself weeks. I NEED GOD! I may think at times that it is hard to sit down and read my Bible or write in my journal or spend time in prayer with Him BUT the alternative for me is a selfish life. If I don't put God first in my life I miss the opportunities to reach out to others because I am not listening to Him. My children need me to put God first in my life. My family and friends need me to put God first in my life. They need me to immerse my life in Him to let His Grace pour over me and let it saturate into every pore of my being.
Many have lived their lives without God and they have remained happy, well adjusted people (at least on the outside). Me, I can't live my life without God and honestly, why would I want to. Can a life without God be all that it is meant to be?
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