Why do some of us give up after a "so called" failure? We try out for something and don't get chosen. We try and jog that first mile as we begin our training for a marathon and collapse at our doorstep. We try and write a short story for the local paper and receive the rejection letter in the mail. Whatever it may be for you; we try to achieve something that we feel we are good at or something we have been dreaming of doing and the powers that decide our fate turn us down. We give up and decide there is no point in trying again because we are bound to fail. Some may say that we are lacking in confidence and need to read a few self help books on self esteem and build ourselves up. Maybe we are seeing the glass as half empty instead of half full. Whatever the reason is we have given up on pursuing our dream or passion because one person out there did not feel we made the cut.
The other day I was talking to my daughter on the subject of failure. It's such a strong word to use so I sugar coated it a little by saying 'not accomplishing something that you had set out to do.' That really is what failure is. Anyway, I was talking to her about it and I thought I would say something profound to make my point. So I said, do you know Einstein did not invent the light bulb the first time he tried. She looks at me with a funny look. In my mind I am thinking this is not the contemplative look that I thought she should be using at this point in the conversation. So, I repeated it again to be sure she understand my point. You know kids...they never listen the first time. She said to me "Mom, you know that Einstein did not invent the light bulb?" There went my moment of trying to sound wise. So, we laughed and it helped lighten the conversation and made her mother look like a fool once again.
There are so many great authors, actors/actresses, writers, inventors, athletes and a host of other people that have had rejection after rejection, failure after failure, disappointment after disappointment. We don't know about the ones that never made it. We only know about the ones that do. They are in our history books, in the newspaper articles that we read and in the media that we see. Can you imagine how often they felt like giving up along the way? Something pushed them to succeed. Somewhere along the road they saw a glimmer of hope and they followed that light.
We are our own worst enemy . We eat some chocolate and give up on our new weight loss plan because we will never be able to stick with it. We plan a party for a group of friends and the only one that shows up is our mom. We apply for a new position at work and don't get the job so we give up on trying to move up the corporate ladder. There are so many little things along the way that we may think that we fail at and we throw in the towel instead of stepping up. Look at all of those people that try out for American/Canadian Idol and Canada's/America's Got Talent. Some of the worst auditions come out saying I am not giving up I know that I can win this thing? How does someone that bad have such confidence and not see it is a failure? Why is it the ones that may really have a chance to do well do not see themselves in the same way as the not so good ones?
I think failure gives us the opportunity to learn, gather together our emotions, give ourselves that little pick me up speech and move on. Maybe that next time will be the right time and the time that you will succeed.
